Tuesday, April 4, 2017

March Self Portraits

She's so excited to be a big sister.  She's always telling baby brother how excited she is to meet him.

We’ve been trying for our second child for 5 years now, except it got to be too much and too far from how we felt a child should come to be….so we stopped trying.  And we were pregnant 2 months later.

"Today I felt like taking a no makeup self portrait. I've been thinking a lot lately about how one of my greatest wishes for my daughters is that they feel comfortable in their own skin, and learn to love themselves enough to be able to forget about themselves and focus on others. I don't want their worth to be tied to a flat stomach, long lashes, perfect skin, or number on a scale. I want them to take care of their bodies because they love them and want to feel good and be healthy. It scares me that I can't protect them from all of the outside influences that tell them they have to be pretty and skinny to be "enough". But I do have control over what I model for them, and hopefully that counts for something.
So I'm working harder to love my body and be kind to myself. Embracing my no makeup face seemed like a good first step. Makeup is fun and I've grown to like it even more in the past few years, but whenever I'm with someone who is completely confident wearing no makeup it is so freeing! I feel empowered to love and accept myself, just the way I am. And side note, this is the only one out of about 300 shots that I actually like. Self portraits are HARD!"

"Sweet baby Jorgen, if you are indeed my last, everything will be documented."

"My mother passed away two days ago from uterine cancer. The organ that brought me life has brought her death. The night she passed away I was doing some work on my computer so I could have some free time to go see her the next morning again. I was working and the song that she sang to me as a child when I was very upset popped into my head as clear as day. I haven't thought of that song in a long time. It was around 7:22 pm.

"Baby mine don't you cry
Baby mine dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part
Baby of mine"

About twenty minutes later her hospice nurse called me to tell me she had passed when they turned her to clean her. I asked for her time of death... "It was 7:22 or 7:23." Thank you mom for your last gift of comfort for me. In the end you just wanted me to be ok.... "Never to part....baby of mine."

My husband took this photo of me and my little guy in the bath. I set the exposure and told him my vision and then hand him the camera. He knows how to change the focal point and always does a great job! I'm thankful I have him to take photos of me sometimes too!

"He will always be my baby. The first face that I saw. I'm trying to cherish these last three weeks with my only child, before he becomes a big brother."

As many of my friend and family know, I've been on a strict Paleo diet since last spring. Here is a little secret, pregnancy took over and I can't leave the milk alone. It is a major craving for me that I just can't fight.