Wednesday, September 2, 2015

"Honest Motherhood"

One of my favorite themes so far! So many beautifully raw images and stories were shared on the community page. Thanks to Angela Renee from This Bliss Photography for selecting this theme and judging for us. 

This is the last nursing shot I will ever take while nursing my daughter as I am currently weaning her and she has gone several days without nursing. It's such a bittersweet time, but I felt it needed to be documented.

I sit down to do my makeup and all the little people quickly find me.

If I'm being HONEST, I've had a hard time adjusting to the existence of my second child. She was not planned and came only 15 months after I had her sister. She was a girl when I wanted a boy. The list continues. She is so very different from her sister. I need to see her for her beauties, but instead I end up focusing on the things I don't particularly like about her. She is stubborn and strong willed. It makes it hard for me to like her...But she also is a lover. She is super sweet (when she wants to be) and so very funny. She has made my life significantly more difficult, but I know I'm better because of her.

Her entrance into this world was just as unplanned as her conception. She was born at home in my bathtub, but our midwife didn't make it in time. I didn't want to get back in that bathtub for a very long time, and I didn't. So for her first birthday, the 2 of us took a bath together in this same tub. She is almost 1.5 and I thought it would be fitting to do a self-portrait together in the place of her birth.

She was afraid of the loud trucks driving by and came running into my arms. She won't always look to my embrace for protection, so these moments I hold extra close to my heart.

Post diaper change smooches

I felt like taking this self-portrait today because I wanted to finally document the nap time fight with my three-year-old from my point of view. His body just doesn't store iron, so it takes him forever to fall asleep at nap and at night. He wakes up often. He gets night terrors. And he has restless leg syndrome. Even with iron supplements, I can still count on one hand the number of times he has slept through the night in his own bed. It's hard to feel like I have to waste so much time sitting in there with him especially when I have two other little ones. And I can get easily frustrated with it. And I'm just super tired because of it. But I have to remember to breathe and that it isn't his fault.